I love my co-op because... (the uncensored version)
So the USCA passes out these big sheets of paper to each house where house members are supposed to write cheerful answers to "I love my co-op because..." to be included in next year's owner's manual.
The social managers from all the houses had a meeting in Ridge tonight... and forgot the box of big sheets of paper. Score.
Among the things that will likely not be printed:
"I can pass out drunk and naked on the floor, and I won't get raped." (Chateau)
"I live in a co-op?" (Rochdale)
"Thanks to the internet and our hot tub, we can now download the most vile acts and re-enact them in our parking lot!" (Wilde)
"Because of this: [bottle of astroglide taped to sheet]" (Wilde)
"It's like a party every night, except without the boys and alcohol." (Sherman)
"There's hardly ever pee on the toilet seats."