In the white room of my desire
I have grown cold and still
Anesthetized
My heart is lying on the bed next to me, covered with a sheet
A white casing, brittle, shields the rest of my body
from the beatings of that heart.
Once, seeing you left me full, brimming
with my need and infatuation.
Your mirage danced in waves of heat
pressed down against the flat face of the desert
in the company of some lonely tree.
Now I am ever emptier,
gasping at the vast sky above me
powder blue and hard
etched with clouds in grey and white.
I don't imagine you, only your absence.
So I fold myself cool and smooth
into a white lily, long-necked, in water
as beautiful in immersion as if it still lived.
8/14/96